Author: Debbie McDonald

For Sale. Photographer’s Car. Not Driven Anymore.

How to Know If Your Senior Is Safe to Drive

I walked out to greet my 80-year-old dad as he pulled into my driveway in his Dodge Journey. I couldn’t help but notice that his side mirror was hanging by a wire.

“Dad, what happened to your mirror?”

“I’m not exactly sure . . . “ came back his reply.

NOT EXACTLY SURE?!

The Dodge was looking tattered as this was the third bump and scrape in a month. Should my dad still be driving?

Was he a danger to himself and to other people on the road? And if so, how could I get him to stop driving? As a professional landscape photographer and outdoorsman, he regularly “hit the road.”

As it turns out, he didn’t stop driving until he was hospitalized after a fall and was diagnosed with trauma-induced dementia.

I discovered that it is difficult to get a license revoked. Here are 5 things to know about senior driving safety.

  1. DMV testing of seniors varies by state. This AAA list shows state requirements for elderly driver testing start at age 70, 75, 80 or in some states, not at all. The DMV tests may include eye tests, reaction tests or road tests.
  2. Your senior’s doctor may recommend that he or she does not drive and some states actually have physician reporting requirements if they feel it is medically unsafe for the person to drive. My dad’s doctor told him he couldn’t drive for six months after he had a seizure. That didn’t stop him from driving.
  3. Some people adopt creative approaches to making the car “not available,” like unhooking the battery or having a friend or family member “borrow” the car.
  4. Keep in mind that driving and independence go hand in hand. For some seniors, losing the ability to drive is the point they move to assisted living or a nursing home. According to a Gerontologist magazine study, “Physician reporting laws and age-based licensing requirements are often at odds with older driver’s need to maintain independence. Physician mandates do not yet yield significant older driver safety benefits, possibly to the detriment of older driver’s well-being and independence.”
  5. This American Geriatrics Society Driver Safety interactive quiz will give you suggestions for monitoring your senior’s driving safety.

Walking that line between independence and safety sometimes feels like a tightrope. 

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way as you help your senior in their waning phase of life.

How to find a walker and wheelchair for cheap (or free!)

With the help from the nursing home physical therapist, I determined that Dad needed the following items at his new home, a memory care assisted living facility.

We found all these items for a total of $125. Follow these steps and see if you can dig up a free walker or wheelchair!

  1. Call your local Center for Independent Living. My local center is called FREED Center for Independent Living and they have a “lending library” of walkers, wheelchairs and other assistive devices. They didn’t have a wheelchair for me but they gave me a walker, a shower bench and a toilet seat riser.
  2. According to Medicare, Medicare Part B (Medical Insurance) covers power-operated vehicles (scooters), walkers, and wheelchairs as durable medical equipment (DME) if the doctor treating your condition submits a written order stating that you have a medical need for a wheelchair or scooter for use in your home.
  3. Look on NextDoor.com. I didn’t think of it for a wheelchair, but did get a $500 composter from a neighbor for free.
  4. Look on your local Craig’s List. We purchased a wheelchair from a nice woman who bought it for her husband and didn’t need it anymore. But we didn’t know to ask for adjustable arms,which leads me to the next point.

Be aware of the adjustable features you may need. Many doctors and hospitals offer a free “fitting session” for a wheelchair or walker.

And a final tip . . . the seat really needs a cushion if your senior is sitting in it for any length of time.

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way as you help your senior in their waning phase of life.

*We may earn a commission for products recommended, but we only mention products that were truly important for our father.

The Best Way to Be Ready for a Fall

The very day my dad was set to move into a charming little rental house, he fell in my bathroom and broke his hip. As the paramedics were arriving, I asked my teenage son to search online and print out a healthcare power of attorney form. 

Of course, getting this form signed had been on my to-do list. The current form listed his ex-wife who lived in a different state.

We found one, printed it, and asked the paramedics to be the two witnesses required. (Apparently, they are not allowed to do that.) At the hospital, we ended up asking my dad’s roommate and his wife to sign as the witnesses. Two complete strangers!

I am part of the sandwich generation. I work and have children and young adults I’m raising. I am an educated professional, and yet I didn’t know where to look for this form. Unfortunately, this form was necessary to use for my father many times in the next year.

Is this the right form?

It can also be called a Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare, Healthcare Proxy or Living Will. Even though the titles for the document vary, advance directives give directions and responsibility to make healthcare decisions if someone becomes unable to do so. An advance directive gives an older adult a voice in their health care should they become too sick to make their wishes known, stating what kind of care they do or don’t want. This can make it much easier for family members to make tough health care decisions for them.

You may be in one of these two situations…

  1. The older adult is independent, but you are the one who would step in should there be an emergency
  2. You are already in a caregiving role for an older adult 
  • For those with independent older adults:

Here’s your assignment: Find out where the power of attorney is and what it says. However, you don’t want to send a message of “you aren’t in your right mind” or “you haven’t prepared well” or even “I’m taking over.” 

Try a strategic approach to this question, like the following:

 “I have a new benefit at work and they’ve given me an assignment of making sure I understand the health management wishes for those I love. I am curious about your healthcare power of attorney. Can you tell me if you’ve done that and if so where I could find it should I need it?”

If they are willing, ask how recently it was completed and if it has the required signatures. It’s a perfect time to hear about their wishes. If you really want to level up, the person responsible for carrying out those wishes should make a copy of the POA.

  • For current caregivers: 

If you don’t already have a healthcare power of attorney paperwork completed for the older adult it’s important to do. Why? According to the American Bar Association, having this completed allows you to do things like:

  • Talk with the medical team about treatment choices. Ask questions and get explanations, so that you can understand the patient’s medical condition and treatment options as much as possible.
  • Asking for consultations and second opinions from other doctors.
  • Consent to or refuse medical tests or treatments—including life sustaining treatment in many, but not all, cases.

You don’t need to contact a lawyer to get this form. However, if the older adult has not chosen a medical decision maker already and they are not able to make their needs known you will need to get an attorney to establish who has the DPOA. The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys is one resource.

You can get a free power of attorney version for your state at Prepare for Your Care or through the American Bar Association. Or Search online: Durable Power of Attorney form for (insert name of your state here). The form itself will outline which signatures are required in your state.

Lastly, make sure you can find the healthcare power of attorney when you need it.

  1. Place a copy of the healthcare power of attorney in a secure location (firebox or safety deposit box)
  2. Place a copy of the healthcare power of attorney in a folder by your door, ready for an emergency. If you want a stylish medical document planner to place it in, the Ways & Wane GoKit is a great solution.
  3. Take a picture of it with your phone and organize it in an “Emergency” folder in your Photos.

May you joyfully prepare so that you can calmly navigate this waning stage of life.