I have found that family caregivers and many older adults themselves have very real concerns about their safety and well-being as older drivers, as well as the safety of others on the road.
I’ve recently worked with a family who had a father with vision challenges that they were concerned about. They didn’t necessarily want to remove his independence, but they had concerns about his safety when he drives.
Often, people are afraid to confront family members, and they don’t want to feel like they’re forcing their older relative to give up the keys.
If you’re worried about the safety of an older driver, here are some key tips for talking with them about your concerns:
- First, you want to avoid confrontation and use “I” messages rather than “you” messages. For example, you might say, “I am concerned about your safety while you’re driving,” rather than, “You’re no longer a safe driver.”
- Second, the older adult should be involved in this discussion because it’s about them. It’s important not to focus on the disease or their age, but instead focus on their functional capacity. As we know, age doesn’t make someone a bad driver.
- Lastly, remember that stopping them from driving is not necessarily the immediate goal. Of course, it will depend on your situation, but the purpose is to identify ways to keep them safe and not focus on giving up the keys.
So, I would encourage you to consider driving modifications and to discuss safety measures with them that will work for them. In the case of the family I was working with, they decided together that the best thing for their father was to focus on just driving during the daytime, where he felt most comfortable and safe, and avoid driving at night because his vision wasn’t the best. Additionally, he decided that he would stay within a certain radius as well. He liked to stay close to home where he felt most safe, so it was kind of a win-win for both.
I hope you find joy in loving one another well.
