I just knew he’d love the remote control car. It had oversized wheels sure to scale all kinds of terrain and a long range remote. I’m guessing he would have been truly delighted by it, especially if he hadn’t carefully cut off the antenna right after opening the box. It never drove an inch.
Sometimes as parents, we have a tendency to want to “wow” our children when it comes to gifts. But does this set expectations that don’t match our budget? Does it actually create the meaningful memories we anticipate? After all, so many times that “wow” gift loses its magic in a very short period of time.
Now as a parent of kids who are in their young 20s, I’ve seen the toys come and go—mostly not even remembered and likely at this point in a landfill somewhere. Sorry. What has stuck for us are the memories and experiences of our time together. It may sound cliche, but it’s very true.
With a memory making approach, here are three gift giving ideas…
- Experiences Over Things: How about tickets to a unique zoo event, coupons for an art or cooking class, a local play, a donut tasting tour (if you are near a metropolitan area), a coupon for a “date” with a parent, a 36 hour trip to explore a nearby city or town, or a camping trip in the living room (complete with the tent and smores), a pajama sleepover at a hotel where the time is spent reading or watching movies and eating take-out. Again, these experiences foster lasting memories and shared joy, making the holiday season more about connection than consumption.
- The “Something They Want, Need, Wear, and Read” Rule: This minimalist strategy suggests giving one gift in each of these categories. For example, a favorite toy (want), a practical item like new shoes (need), a cozy sweater (wear), and a beloved book or audiobook (read). This approach promotes thoughtful and balanced gift-giving, avoiding excess while still delighting the child.
- Teach Generosity Through Giving: Purposefully put the focus on giving instead of receiving and the delight that provides. Involve children in thinking about choosing and giving gifts to others, such as selecting toys for donation or helping with acts of service like baking cookies for neighbors. This nurtures empathy and helps children understand the value of kindness, fostering a sense of community.
Particularly for parents of younger children, it might take some courage to resist the lure of the “wow” gift item, but it’s going to be easier if the focus shifts at a younger age. That said, you may have some convincing to do with the grandparents who love to “wow” a grandchild.
Elizabeth Dameron-Drew is President of Ways & Wane and in the sandwich generation.
