Author: Alyssa Zoll

Your cell phone rings in the middle of your work day. It’s your brother calling to tell you that something happened with mom’s heart and she’s in the hospital. It’s a very scary call. Almost as scary as trying to figure out what to do next. The information here will help you know what your next steps should be.

Keep this on your radar
Don’t assume the older adult’s spouse or partner is able to be their advocate. Between the stress of the situation and a generation that may not be comfortable questioning doctors, hands-on support from you or someone else in the family (even virtually) may be necessary.

Keep an eye out to help manage the non-hospitalized partner’s stress and needs. Their circle of friends can be called upon to help with transportation to and from the hospital, meals or companionship. It’s a generation that is used to showing up in times of need.

When you live far away from the older adult

• First, call the hospital’s nurse desk and make sure they have your name, number and relation to the patient.
• If the current status or care plan is unclear to those involved, ask the nurse to connect you with the Social Worker on staff. The Social Worker can arrange a meeting with the doctor who can explain the situation.
• “Do I need to be there?” It’s the million dollar question. If you aren’t sure if you should be there in person, ask the nurse and/or doctor if they would recommend that a family member be present.
• Don’t be afraid to call the nurse desk for updates. The ideal time frame to reach them is likely between 12-5pm since it’s after morning rounds and between shift changes.

Keeping track of it all
Keep detailed notes capturing the names, titles and dates of who you speak with and their role in the care being provided. Frequently there are various care providers and it’s easy to lose track of who said what and when. You can download the Notes During a Hospital Stay template, which offers suggested questions for the medical team and space for notes.

The Ways & Wane GoKit Medical Planner is a great place to keep these notes. Once you’ve set it up to use, the older adult’s PCP, list of allergies and medicines can be found there. Additionally, the portable GoKit Planner has slots for insurance cards, IDs and envelopes for copies of care directives.

The hospital discharge process

• Use the GoKit Medical Planner’s suggested questions to ask prior to discharge and keep notes there. Or download our Hospital/Nursing Home Discharge form with suggested questions and space for notes.
• Go through the discharge notes with the nursing staff in order to clarify any questions.
• Make sure to explain the home environment to the care providers, specifically if there are any steps in the home, a spouse who cannot manage care needs for another, a lack of transportation to get prescriptions or to receive follow-up care, etc.
• If the doctor deems medical equipment to be necessary (such as a shower chair or bed side commode) it is usually covered by a regular Medicare policy.

IMPORTANT: If the older adult is being discharged to a rehabilitation facility, they will likely receive a list of facility options from the Social Worker. This is usually a pre-formulated list of options, but they are not vetted or screened in any way. In fact, there have been numerous times we have found that the list provided by the hospital included rehabilitation facilities that have been flagged for abuse.

If you find yourself having to navigate a hospital admission for your child, there are two very helpful and yet little known resources available to support you and your child.

A Child Life Specialist

A Child Life Specialist is a healthcare professional whose role is focused on the psychosocial needs of the patient, including mental, emotional, and social needs.

This support can include:

• Develop age-appropriate strategies to minimize trauma and increase understanding of a medical diagnosis through treatments plans using therapeutic play, education, preparation, and activities that promote growth and development
• Supporting children and their families by using a variety of tactics to help them better understand a process, procedure, or other element of their medical experience
• Advocating for the special needs of children and their families
• Providing information, support, and guidance to parents and family members
• Collaborating with the health care team to coordinate and manage care

Your child’s nurse or a Social Worker can ask the Child Life Specialist to reach out to you.

TIP: Since they tend to be in high demand and there may be just one of them at the hospital, put in a request as early as possible. Once you do, provide your phone and email so that it’s even easier for them to reach you.

A Social Worker

The hospital Social Worker can provide help to cope with the effects of your child’s illness on your family. They can support with both immediate and longer term practical and psychological challenges, such as:

• Resources to care for other children while your child is in the hospital
• Reimbursement for parking or public transport to/from the hospital
• Meals while in the hospital caring for your child
• Options for where to stay if you need to be close to the hospital
• Ways to pay for care
• An assessment of your family’s needs in relation to your child’s health event
• Referrals to community resources
• Short-term counseling to help your family adjust
• Help in understanding and learning strategies to effectively deal with behavior

Your child’s nurse can put a request in for a Social Worker to reach out to you.

TIP: Get the Social Worker’s specific contact information so that you can proactively reach out to them. Once you do, provide your phone and email so that it’s even easier for them to reach you.

This short, but very informative “Eight Ways You Can Help Your Child Cope While at the Hospital” by The National Child Traumatic Stress Network may be helpful as well.